Bright Idea Outdoors Weblog

Buckenstein

My suspicions were first aroused two years ago.  I was climbing down from a tree stand, when the Captain called.

"I just shot a doe and 10-point, and I need your help!"

I arrived on the scene a few minutes later to find the doe in a heap beneath Mike's stand, but the buck was nowhere in sight.

We picked up a blood trail and tracked the animal into a swamp as darkness fell.  Just when we were sure it would turn up any second, however, the trail disappeared.  A couple hours later, so did our hopes of finding the big buck.

Over the next two seasons, there were more instances of big deer that had been hit right in the vitals but never recovered.  Then, when I lost my job this past summer and started a part-time business removing dead deer from people's yards to make ends meet, I began to realize that something was really wrong.

People called to have dead deer removed, but often when I arrived the carcass was already gone.  One lady called before I even got there.

"The deer was in my yard this morning, but when I got home from work it was gone," she said.

It didn't happen every time.  I was paid well to scrape up a number of does and small bucks.  Yet it seemed that every time a homeowner called to ask me to render a big buck, the animal was gone before I could get there.  At one such scheduled pickup earlier this week, a camouflage van sped past me in the other direction as I pulled up to the house.  I knew the deer and accompanying payday were a loss to me, so I made U-turn and went after the van.  My efforts at solving the mystery were in vain though, as the driver proved to be a master of evasive action.  The van vanished in traffic at dusk.

Then yesterday, as I glassed a field at Camp Cowboy, I saw the van again.  Only this time it headed down a narrow track into the woods at the edge of the same swamp where the Captain lost the buck in 2007.  I donned my camo and crept toward the spot where I'd last seen the vehicle, determined to find out what was going on.

The woods and swamp seemed to have gotten bigger, and I passed stumps and crossed creeks that I'd never seen before.  I followed the trail for hours, undaunted even as rain began to fall.  I noticed a dim glow coming from a clearing up ahead and glanced at my watch.  It was 11:50 p.m.

Muffled noises came from the source of the light as I belly-crawled toward it.  Lightning flashed in the distance, and thunder rolled through the gloom a moment later.  The rain got harder, the sound of the drops making it easier for me to creep undetected toward the light and whoever or whatever was in that clearing.

At the stroke of midnight, lightning flashed again, this time filling the woods with blinding light.  A deafening clap of thunder was followed by a blood-curdling shriek.

"It's alive!  It's alive!"

Too bewildered for further caution, I scrambled to my feet and peered into the clearing.

There stood a bespectacled old man, his face covered in beard stubble and camouflage face paint.  He wore a lab coat, also in camo, and I noticed that something was emerging from the back of the van. 

At first, all I saw was a huge set of antlers; then a nose and a neck as big around as a tire.  The top of the van buckled and ripped in half as the huge buck stood.  It bounded out of what was left of the vehicle and revealed its full stature.

The 28-point buck stood taller than any moose and looked like it outweighed some elephants.  Its grunt sounded more like a roar, and the hole it made when it pawed the earth with its massive hoof looked more like a crater.

The madman who had created this beast stood in front of it and cackled.  His maniacal laughter came to an abrupt halt, however, when the buck lowered its head.  I shuddered and covered my eyes as the man I've since come to call "Dr. Buckenstein" was impaled on an antler and tossed off into the swamp like a rag doll.

How I was spared the wrath of this 28-point killer buck I'll never be sure.  The only possible explanation is that earlier that evening I'd sprayed down my clothes with scent-elimination spray (and we all know those things really work, right?")

The buck lingered in the clearing only a moment longer before it charged off into the swamp thickets.  On the way out of the swamp, I moved slowly and quietly, careful not to give away my location to the monster.  For the first time, I felt like the deer were hunting me.

I made it home at dawn, but I know he's still out there.  And with the rut kicking in, he'll want to breed.  If Buckenstein's monster reproduces, Camp Cowboy will be overrun.

We must kill that deer!  Before it's too late. . .

Boo!  Happy Halloween Everybody!

Persistence

For an excellent story about an outdoorsman and artist who never gave up, check out John Kellys article "Keeping His Dreams Afloat" in today's Washington Post.

Muzzleloader Season Starts This Weekend

Virginia's muzzleloader deer season gets off to an early start this year, with Opening Day falling on October 31.  This is the first time I can remember the blackpowder season starting in October, and I'm particularly excited about black powder season this year.

That's because I just got permission to hunt with my Knight inline muzzleloading rifle on a property where I've been bow hunting for a couple years.  Many of the biggest bucks harvested in Virginia each fall are taken during the early November muzzleloader season.

I haven't fired my Knight since taking a big deer with it last December, so I guess I'd better get that thing sighted in. . .

A Big Win

No luck on the deer this weekend, but my son's football team did get a big win in the first round of the playoffs.  Here he is making a tackle late in the game, which ended with a final score of 14-6.

First Week on the Job Comes to a Close

Wow; here I am at the end of the first week on my new job.  I think that's the case anyway; not sure if I'm supposed to work Saturday my first week or not.

Looks like we've got another rainy weekend ahead of us.  Of course, I'm hoping to get some hunting in, but I'd also like to spend some time in front of this computer if it's raining too hard to hunt.  If that's the case, I'll write an update on what I'm doing and what my new job actually is.  I'll also work on some new pages for this site that I've dreamed up this week.

Good luck to all who are hunting this weekend.  Stay safe and be patient; if the bucks aren't already on the move in your area, they will be soon.

Good luck also to anyone who will be engaged in a sport other than hunting.  My son's football team has its first playoff game tomorrow, and we're hoping the rain holds off for that.  He's still a young kid playing "C League," but, no matter what level you're at, have fun and play hard!

Evening Hunting Report

My son and I were able to sneak out for a late afternoon hunt after work and school today; got to the stand we call the "Captain's Condo" at around 5 p.m. with very little wind and temperatures in the high 60's.

At nearly 9 years old, he's getting a lot better about sitting still and being quiet, yet I think he still gets bored a little faster than he would if he actually had a chance of shooting something himself (it's still bow season, and he's a strong kid but not strong enough to bow hunt yet.)  So, by 6 p.m. he had talked me into getting down to do a "walk and stalk."

We moved to the area near stand Number One, where the Captain and I have both shot does within the last two weeks, and, sure enough, the area is still a hot spot.  From where we hid in a clump of tall grass we spotted five does, all in the 50-70 yards away range.  At that distance, and with thick cover between us and the deer, taking a shot was impossible.  Still, it's great to know the does are still coming into that area every evening and that the bucks will probably start following them there within a week or two.

As darkness fell, and we rounded the pond on the way back to the house, my son thanked me for taking him hunting.

"It's always good when you shoot something," he said.  "But I don't think we've ever not seen anything."

It seems to me that we must have hunted together at least once or twice without seeing anything, but it's nice that he has that positive perception.  Deer or no deer, the hunts with my kids are always the best ones of the season.

Deer Crashes a Major Fall Hazard for Northern Virginia Drivers

Dead deer are a familiar site on Northern Virginia roadsides all year round.  It's no secret: we have a major deer overpopulation problem, and the biggest threat to humans comes from the dozens, if not hundreds, of deer-related crashes that occur on our highways every day.

The incidence of these crashes increases at this time of year as the whitetail deer mating season, or rut, heats up, and bucks lose their inhibitions in pursuit of does.  Northern Virginia drivers need to be on their guard against deer-related crashes in late October and in the month of November more than any other time of year.  No matter how careful you are, however, if you drive in Northern Virginia, particularly at night, you are eventually going to hit a deer.

Whitetails hit by vehicles will often keep going on adrenaline for some distance after being struck.  Sometimes they die on the roadside; sometimes they make it to the woods or a field; but sometimes they die in the most incovenient of places--like right in the middle of someone's yard.

Fairfax County homeowners who wake up to find dead deer in their yards may feel like they have nowhere to turn.  But the truth is, professional dead deer removal is only a phone call away.

Give me a call at (703)431-0182.  For a reasonable fee, I make dead deer disappear! 

Wish Me Luck

I slept late this morning; 6:30.  The first thing to go through my mind when I opened my eyes and looked at the clock was: This time tomorrow I'll be on my way to work.

Not that I didn't get up early while I was self-employed.  There's just something different about getting up early by choice versus getting up early because someone said you had to be somewhere by a certain time.  Still, I'm thankful to have a job to go to and excited about the new opportunity.

I could say that with the start of my new job will come the end of a dark period in my life, but that wouldn't be true.  Every day that I was without a full-time job was like an adventure, a hunt for the next chance to make things better.  But I wouldn't have been able to keep such a positive attitude without the help I got from family and friends.  There are many many people who deserve my thanks, but I want to thank my mom in particular for her help, Sassy for hiring me to build this patio, which got my landscape "company" started, and my wife for keeping her cool and standing by me through all of this. I'd like to thank my dad for passing on to me his tendency toward hard work (dare I call it toughness?)  Most importantly, I thank God for giving me the strength to do what is best for my family and to carry on in the face of adversity.

And to anyone who is without a job now or who may lose a job in the near future, I'd like to pass on the following pieces of advice:

• Don't limit yourself to looking for a job just like the one you lost.
• Don't sit around the house all day looking at the Internet; yes, there are good jobs online, but, again, don't limit yourself.
• Get out and talk to every person you can; set up meetings with people even if it's for no particular reason; I originally met with my new employer about something totally separate from the job I'm about to start.
• Swallow your pride: in the last two months I've borrowed money, borrowed vehicles, accepted gifts that felt a lot like charity, dug ditches, scraped up roadkill and am currently driving a tiny Nissan pickup truck with a purple stripe.
• Be innovative: who'd have thought people would pay me to haul dead deer out of their yards?
• Lean on your church; if you don't have a church, think about trying one out.
• Go hunting (or the recreational pursuit of your choice): You will need the time to collect your thoughts, and all I know is that I shot my first deer of the season and got a job the next day.

Of course, the new job will probably cut into my hunting time, but that's why they call it "work."  Check back soon; I may even reveal the name of my new employer.

Hunting Haiku Contest

Need something to keep you occupied while you're sitting in a tree stand this week?  Or, if you're not a bowhunter, do you need something to keep you from going crazy waiting for muzzleloader and/or rifle season to start?  And how'd you like a chance to win some gear in the process?

I may have just the thing.

Wednesday afternoon, as I sat in a stand in the rain, I had the idea of composing a hunting haiku.  My most recent post was the result.

A haiku is a poem with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second line and five in the third and final line.  This style of poetry originated in Japan, and you can read more about it here.  If you really want to the scoop on haiku, you'll have to get in touch with the person who wrote the haunting lines in this post.

The rules of my contest are simple: 

1. To participate, you have to have a blog; you have to post the haiku on your blog, and the post must contain a link to my blog.
2. To officially become a contestant, you must leave a comment on this post, letting me know that you've written your haiku.
3. Since I've always thought of haiku as a spooky kind of poetry, I'd like to get this done before Halloween; the deadline will be 8 p.m. EST on Wednesday October 28; all entries will be reproduced in single post here on Friday Oct. 30; each poem will, of course, credit the author and link to his or her blog.
4. I'm not going to be real strict on haiku form; just do your best to get the number of syllables right, and make sure it has something to do with the outdoors; if you're not a hunter, something about the fall season would be good.
5. If I get at least five entries, the winner will receive a Bright Idea Outdoors hat or visor; if I get 10 entries, I'll award the hat to two lucky winners; If I get 20 or more entries, the first place winner will get, in addition to the hat, a $25 gift card to the outdoor retailer of his or her choice (i.e. Cabela's, Bass Pro, Gander Mountain, Wal-Mart, etc.)
6. The winner will be selected by a three-judge panel consisting of myself, frequent commenter and haiku author JEC and the Leesburg area's leading photographer; if we don't have agreement between at least two of us, the winner will be selected at random from among our three favorites.

Obviously, the more entries I get the better the prize will be, so spread the word about this contest and start counting your syllables!

Evening Hunt Haiku

Daylight fades a shot,

Presents itself you take it,

When should you get down?